lazy....lazy....snowfish....

或许是因为成绩出了，
所以想懒惰一下吧！
所以这星期，
两天的课我都没上。
哈哈。

幸好成绩都及格，
不过还有一科要重考。
虽然这学期没有英文，
但是我发现其他的科目都很难，
尤其是tax and MAF。
这两科的讲师，
一个讲话很快，另一个讲的英文非常难明白。
唉，对于我这个英文程度有限的人来说，
真的不敢想像以后的日子要怎么过！

最近发现，
我讲话的技巧越来越差，
虽然从来都没有好过啦。
表达能力真的非常非常非常得烂，
看到他的语气越来越凶，
真的吓到我一下。
幸好还来得急阻止他，
要不然我真的不知道该怎么办。
唉，真的不知道要怎样改变了，
不进步，反而退步。
我的脑袋所想的，跟讲的真的有很大的对比。
为什么要表达这么简单的事情都这么难，
唉，还好他没有生气，他也没有被骂。
要不然我会很内疚的。

昨天原本跟darling唱k，但是没唱到，
唉，有点失望。
不过，我们逛街谈天，
也蛮开心得。
哈哈。
还记得darling说，
darling的理想男友是，
有肩膀可以很舒服的让她依靠，
以前，我想我的理想男友一定要懂得比我多，
因为我很笨，
所以会想另一伴告诉我不懂得东西。
不过，才发现原来很多人都比我懂很多东西。
哈哈哈哈。

幸福原来可以很容易

昨天是劳动节，
原本以为会平平凡凡的度过，
可是凭不是。。
这是我们第二次去云顶，这一年。。
很不同的是这一次，
他们没有吵架，
他们有淡， 有笑。。
当时心里在想“这样真的太好啦！”。。

很怕他们吵架，
每一次他们吵架，
我都会不知道怎么做。。
只能静静的，
等他们平静。。

原本是要玩户外的游戏，
但是去到那里已经大半天了，
而且很多人，
还是算了吧。。
哈哈，我们去玩游戏机。。
很不同的是，现在不用token,
现在是用卡的。。
我和弟很久很久很久都没进过去打机了，
所以不懂，哈哈哈。。
结果玩了几个小时才玩到120分。。
唉，真是失败！
很多人都很高分，上千的，
我们只能换一个蓝色的灯筒。。

因为是劳动节
所以八点有烟花，
很美，真的很美，
第一次这么近看烟花。。
不知道为甚么，
突然觉的幸福，
可能是我们家很久都没有这样一起出来了吧。。
哈哈。。

Finally finish exam....

Yesterday was my last day exam...FOA...
Who say resit easy??
The first question already dunno do ler...
HAIZ....LET IT BE...
Hope i can pass...
Please... i just want pass only...

Yesterday go sing k again...
Haha...
actually eye almost want close already...
But still want go sing k...
I realise...
I just know JJ and rynn song...
Lol...
Darling ask me...why sit so far?
Actually i just want sleep only...
Dun think so much...

I want say...
Darling...you become mature after cut hair...
Nice...i like it...and...
Darling...dun so emo...
I think they just 'say say' only...
They won't change class ...i think...
haha...
And also no need worry me...
I am ok... really...
But dunno he ok or not...

Exam finish already...
Now want think many thing...
Hehe...
The important thing : MONEY
I want change computer!!!
But i not enough money...
Haiz...
My mom call me go work...
But dunno where can work...
Really dun want go back there work again...

please.....study ....snowfish....

Dunno why see on the FOA note, but my brain already dunno at where....
I cannot find the mood to study ...but i know i should not do like that...
Finally, i online again...haiz...
Just now see darling blog....
i know she worry momo again...
Dun like people sad, especially is my friend...

Sorry for making you emo again...
you are right, you are not computer...
me cannot force you to forget ...
because me also cannot forgot...
can i take back my promise?
because i dun wan forget what you already tell me...
if bad memory can click a delete button...
then no one will sad or feel unhappy again...

after giving you see my blog, i really feel regret...
because make you so emo and unhappy...
but i really angry when you call me to dun be you frend...
Please forget what i write...please...
that time while see you msg, you keep remind me dun cry, dun sad...
But i want say i dun have cry...
really dunno what can i do...so that you will not feel so emo...
still remember you got send me one msg,
that time you call me dun =( sad , i give you this =) smile...
for me actually at that moment really touch... i also dunno why...haha..
for you i dunno got use or not, then just use back this method ...haha..

dun like people say sorry to me...
but i want say sorry to you...really sorry ...
me always say dun want hurt by people, but me already hurt you...
at last really sorry...sorry...

really want go back study ler...really dun want resit again...
and gambateh momo a za darling...
i always be yourside, support you...

still got one exam paper only!!!

Finally, yesterday finish exam the OHR paper...
Really dunno how to do....just write only...haiz...
Now i pray i can pass all my paper....
i just want pass only...please...i dun want resit anymore...
Now just left one paper...That paper is FOA, hope dun so difficult....

Today go out sing k...eye...tired...leg...tired...brain also tired....
hahahaha...
Erm....I want ask, izzit cute is equal to 'daogei'?
Ya, i know me really 'daogei'...
Beside 'daogei' i also no brain and inertia...
haiz...
Is ok, me already know this long long time ago...
Until now still cannot change this reality...

He ask me that question again....
Actually i really really dunno answer...
Because myself also dunno why will feel afraid....
i ask darling, why me will be feel afraid ...
darling say ask myself...
darling say i really a weird girl...
i agree... really weird...
the fear is come out naturally ...i thought i can overcome that fear...
But the result come out is cannot...
He is a good person, everyone know, me also know...
why i will feel afraid when facing him??
Keep asking myself this question...
Really dunno, head very pain now....hahahaha....
Now already really dun understand myself ....

That event already pass long long long time....
First sem or second sem ? Already dunno which sem ...
But the most important thing is I already know that time he was just kidding only...
But.... as i know is still got a bit influence.... a bit... just a bit....
Sometime really will feel zero confident when facing him...
But when facing with other person will also feel no confident...
hahaha.....
Even sometime will feel a bit scare when facing with he, maybe is scare him will say that kind of word to me again...
But as i know that is earlier reason...
Now i think he won say like that to me ler ba...
Then now what i am afraid about??
Haiz....

Already write so many thing, no answer come out....
My question can not find out the solution...Haiz....
Dun want think anymore...
just let it be...keep asking me also dun have answer...
Now want study FOA !!!!
Just left one paper only...

Exam......medicine....again....

Haiz.....
regret eat mcd ..
Yesterday, after eat mcd, already feel pain from the throat....
Exam...ing...What can i do?
haiz~~ Medicine again...

today having a bad luck...
no voice, no lift, no parking , no water...
Actually, today just need accompany my mom go pasar only....
unfortunately, lift rosak ...
my mom call me go by myself....
After go pasar, no parking....
need walk a long way ....Haiz~~ tired...
Finish bought things, then go clinic see doctor...
Last time brought my brother, this time is my turn go see doctor...
Back home...no lift... need walk stairs...13 floor...Haiz...
Back home...no water...whole building also no water...Haiz..

He already remind me must take care, drink more water...
Because now exam...but...
i am sick again...fever again....38 degree again....
Throat feel pain...now already no voice come out...
regret...ing...if i no eat mcd....
every time also like that, after did something, will feel regret...
really stupid ah....
really can realise i am no brain one...=(
Before that, actually already know throat got a bit pain, still decide want eat mcd...

Yesterday, got try something new at time square with darling, shenny, fuiling,sin yin, wan ting, mei yin and amanda...
We having a full makeup...
They say need to complete a folio, so need a model to make up...
After finish make up, everyone look very different...
Everyone look mature and pretty ...
Erm~ except me...
Erm~ i think my eye got bigger a bit lar ...
haha~~

First time having a full make up...
Erm~~ first time got many type of cosmetic put on my face...
Erm~~ really unlike and uncomfortable...
Especially the eye...
She put so many thing on my eye...
Lol~~ next time dun dare to try anymore...

After finish make up, need take picture...
Erm~~ need posing too...Haiz...
I really dunno posing ...sad...=(
Finally she teach me how to pose when facing the camera...
Posing like a model...

Erm~~ what i know is make up need many time...
Removed make up also need many time...
I think she really a patient person...
Because she already stand many hour to do the make up and removed the make up...
Erm~~ what i know is after removed make up, eye feel more comfortable...
Feel like got release something...
Before removed, eye feel like very heavy...

After that, we go try cloth...Hehe~~
Erm~~ really like that two cloth...But the price...
Haha...i am dun have money lar...
But got take picture, now is fui ling teach me how to posing ler...
Erm...messy the hair and dun smile...
Haha...me change bad already...

Sometime will feel really confused...
Izzit want to be strong is equal to became bad...Dunno...
Now i can't feel i already became stronger...
What i can feel is i became bad girl already...
Recently, my brother really rich...
Last sunday, buy new psp..
cost Rm830...use his own money...Haiz...
Me? nothing buy...
no money...no money...
Now dun want think so much things...
Dun want think laptop...
mp4...
handphone...
bag...
shoes...
and...
haha...

Now just want faster recover...
Hope the coming exam paper not so difficult...
I dun want resit anymore...Please!!!
Gambateh anyone...^^
A za snowfish too...

need a happy snow fish life

Just now click wrongly on shenny status~ now feel regrade~~ sorry~
Because at that moment i think what shenny say is correct de.......
Start a happy life~ Forgot all about that person.....everything....
sorry darling, for making you worry...........
Because me suddenly offline......
at that moment really not ok......
dunno how to reply you all...
really dunno....
then i just offline, go to sleep....

At the bed,dunno why? i am very not ok!! cry...ing...again...again....
me already say my heart very weak !!!!
why tell me all this??
at that time really cannot accept...
haiz.....
see wrong people le....

This make me think back all the bad memory....
especially when you all say outlooking person....
all the bad memory come back in my brain....
paksa me face all the reality....
that memory is my nightmare....
make me cannot sleep well whole night....
what can i do?
nothing.....do nothing.....cannot change anything....
that bad memory keep remind me ....
can someone tell me, izzit appearance very important??
ya, maybe....
all boy like see pretty girl, all girl like to see handsome boy....
this is reality....haha

darling call me forgot....
i agree....forgot...
no need think too much...
he really not good....
actually, he no do something that make me still need remember him....

Haiz....
but something is cannot forgot ....
i still remember that person name who make this nightmare to me...
i already use 5 years to forgot that bad memory....
but now still remain inside my heart...my brain....
cannot forget....
eye fill with many water....
pain come out from heart.....
Lol.....
become crazy le....

darling ask why me now still scare your brother....
i dunno....
really dunno....
maybe he is the person that make me think back that bad memory....
so now very scare him....haha
i know sometime he was just kidding with me....
but dunno why ? also feel afraid ....

really wan thanks momo....
just realise the reality... what type of that person...
now really can forgot that person le....
From now really need start to become stronger ....
dun wan hurt by anyone... anymore...
wan to become a happy snow fish....

keep telling myself, start a new happy life....
with my lovely family , and my friend....