不开心？

他说我变开心了，但她变得不开心了。
为什么会这样？
我不知道。

我变开心了是因为我发现，
要珍惜当下所拥有的，
因为我们都不知未来。。
所以能活一天，就觉得很庆幸。
因为生命是很脆弱的，时间过了就不能从来，
所以更要开心去面对现在过的每一天。
这样想，就觉得好过一些了吧。

我不知道她发生的事情，不知道为什么她不开心，
我真的有做错什么而让她不开心的吗？
你可以告诉我吗？

刚刚在facebook,看到了她post的东西，
她淋雨了，我不知道她没扇，不然我一定会遮她 。
同时也觉得内疚， 我不是那个让她开怀大笑的朋友。

我觉得我们很少说话了，
从我接受他那一天开始。
是我多想了吗？
我不懂。
或许是你不想我担心，才不跟我说，
但是看到你这样，我会不担心吗？

之从被打劫的那一天开始，
我就看开了，
那时心里真的很感谢老天爷，
只让我受了轻伤，
没把我带走，
这让我更珍惜现在跟家人，跟朋友一起的时间。

我希望明天的你是开心的，
我可以要回开朗的她吗?

命运？

我想是命运注定了我遇见你，
那命运会注定我跟你分开吗？
当听完你说，
我一直在思考着，
我很怕，
你师傅所说的真的会发生吗？
当时真的很不安，
脑袋在想我可以做些什么？

谢谢你告诉我，真的，
让我知道，
我也知道我很坏，
没有像你那样，
把所有事情都告诉你，
对不起。

或许是因为这样，我才那么的相信你吧，
让我相信了你一定能做到，
就因为相信，
让我觉得没那么不安了。

考试要到了，
真的有压力，
突然想起你对我说的未来，
发现你想好多事情，
其实我想说，
未来的事情，谁会知道。
（就像我们）哈哈
所以，要珍惜现在所拥有的，
要珍惜的过每一天 ，
其实我觉得能活一天，就是老天爷给我最好的礼物，
所以我都很珍惜现在的每一天，
只要能活着，
什么事情都能解决，
这样想是不是，没有那么压力了呢？
哈哈。

加油!!
只是想说，
我们一起加油吧！

加油

最近你好吗
少了一点微笑
说的话有点少
最近我也不好 全世界都在逆转
人开始反向思考

发现你爱的人 到处跑
昨晚刚升职 今天被炒
莫名其妙 谁会知道
是不是上天开的玩笑

地震时 你想和谁拥抱
什么是生命中的美好
轻易放掉 却不知道
幸福就在下一个转角

说一声加油 一切更美好
所有的悲伤 请往边靠
曾经流过的泪
湿了伤口 就让阳光晒干而褪

这一种加油 人人都需要
手牵手 我们一起赛跑
说好不见不散
每分每秒守候你到老

The beat goes on 时间它一直走
就像是Life goes on 这过程或许痛
不管顺流或逆流 你总得抬起头
让我们一起走 走过艰难和困惑

关关是难关 但我们关关过
雨后天晴的阳光 在天空闪闪
所出现的彩虹 忽然间我们才懂
如果这是一场马拉松 那我们一起加油

hate emo...

hate emo...
dun like that...
sorry make ppl worry...
i also dun wan act like that...
cannot control myself...
cannot control them...
cannot change them...
the voice of they fight become more high...
really scare...
they really wan separate ma?
everytime also wan say separate...
can pls dun separare...
i really duno what can i do...
want help which side?
i duno...
really hate money...
money very scarely ...
make them become like that...
i want a happy n peaceful life...
LAlala...
just let it be...
i cannot change anything...
hope everything will become normal back...
this always will appear in my mind...

lazy....lazy....snowfish....

或许是因为成绩出了，
所以想懒惰一下吧！
所以这星期，
两天的课我都没上。
哈哈。

幸好成绩都及格，
不过还有一科要重考。
虽然这学期没有英文，
但是我发现其他的科目都很难，
尤其是tax and MAF。
这两科的讲师，
一个讲话很快，另一个讲的英文非常难明白。
唉，对于我这个英文程度有限的人来说，
真的不敢想像以后的日子要怎么过！

最近发现，
我讲话的技巧越来越差，
虽然从来都没有好过啦。
表达能力真的非常非常非常得烂，
看到他的语气越来越凶，
真的吓到我一下。
幸好还来得急阻止他，
要不然我真的不知道该怎么办。
唉，真的不知道要怎样改变了，
不进步，反而退步。
我的脑袋所想的，跟讲的真的有很大的对比。
为什么要表达这么简单的事情都这么难，
唉，还好他没有生气，他也没有被骂。
要不然我会很内疚的。

昨天原本跟darling唱k，但是没唱到，
唉，有点失望。
不过，我们逛街谈天，
也蛮开心得。
哈哈。
还记得darling说，
darling的理想男友是，
有肩膀可以很舒服的让她依靠，
以前，我想我的理想男友一定要懂得比我多，
因为我很笨，
所以会想另一伴告诉我不懂得东西。
不过，才发现原来很多人都比我懂很多东西。
哈哈哈哈。

幸福原来可以很容易

昨天是劳动节，
原本以为会平平凡凡的度过，
可是凭不是。。
这是我们第二次去云顶，这一年。。
很不同的是这一次，
他们没有吵架，
他们有淡， 有笑。。
当时心里在想“这样真的太好啦！”。。

很怕他们吵架，
每一次他们吵架，
我都会不知道怎么做。。
只能静静的，
等他们平静。。

原本是要玩户外的游戏，
但是去到那里已经大半天了，
而且很多人，
还是算了吧。。
哈哈，我们去玩游戏机。。
很不同的是，现在不用token,
现在是用卡的。。
我和弟很久很久很久都没进过去打机了，
所以不懂，哈哈哈。。
结果玩了几个小时才玩到120分。。
唉，真是失败！
很多人都很高分，上千的，
我们只能换一个蓝色的灯筒。。

因为是劳动节
所以八点有烟花，
很美，真的很美，
第一次这么近看烟花。。
不知道为甚么，
突然觉的幸福，
可能是我们家很久都没有这样一起出来了吧。。
哈哈。。

Finally finish exam....

Yesterday was my last day exam...FOA...
Who say resit easy??
The first question already dunno do ler...
HAIZ....LET IT BE...
Hope i can pass...
Please... i just want pass only...

Yesterday go sing k again...
Haha...
actually eye almost want close already...
But still want go sing k...
I realise...
I just know JJ and rynn song...
Lol...
Darling ask me...why sit so far?
Actually i just want sleep only...
Dun think so much...

I want say...
Darling...you become mature after cut hair...
Nice...i like it...and...
Darling...dun so emo...
I think they just 'say say' only...
They won't change class ...i think...
haha...
And also no need worry me...
I am ok... really...
But dunno he ok or not...

Exam finish already...
Now want think many thing...
Hehe...
The important thing : MONEY
I want change computer!!!
But i not enough money...
Haiz...
My mom call me go work...
But dunno where can work...
Really dun want go back there work again...

please.....study ....snowfish....

Dunno why see on the FOA note, but my brain already dunno at where....
I cannot find the mood to study ...but i know i should not do like that...
Finally, i online again...haiz...
Just now see darling blog....
i know she worry momo again...
Dun like people sad, especially is my friend...

Sorry for making you emo again...
you are right, you are not computer...
me cannot force you to forget ...
because me also cannot forgot...
can i take back my promise?
because i dun wan forget what you already tell me...
if bad memory can click a delete button...
then no one will sad or feel unhappy again...

after giving you see my blog, i really feel regret...
because make you so emo and unhappy...
but i really angry when you call me to dun be you frend...
Please forget what i write...please...
that time while see you msg, you keep remind me dun cry, dun sad...
But i want say i dun have cry...
really dunno what can i do...so that you will not feel so emo...
still remember you got send me one msg,
that time you call me dun =( sad , i give you this =) smile...
for me actually at that moment really touch... i also dunno why...haha..
for you i dunno got use or not, then just use back this method ...haha..

dun like people say sorry to me...
but i want say sorry to you...really sorry ...
me always say dun want hurt by people, but me already hurt you...
at last really sorry...sorry...

really want go back study ler...really dun want resit again...
and gambateh momo a za darling...
i always be yourside, support you...

still got one exam paper only!!!

Finally, yesterday finish exam the OHR paper...
Really dunno how to do....just write only...haiz...
Now i pray i can pass all my paper....
i just want pass only...please...i dun want resit anymore...
Now just left one paper...That paper is FOA, hope dun so difficult....

Today go out sing k...eye...tired...leg...tired...brain also tired....
hahahaha...
Erm....I want ask, izzit cute is equal to 'daogei'?
Ya, i know me really 'daogei'...
Beside 'daogei' i also no brain and inertia...
haiz...
Is ok, me already know this long long time ago...
Until now still cannot change this reality...

He ask me that question again....
Actually i really really dunno answer...
Because myself also dunno why will feel afraid....
i ask darling, why me will be feel afraid ...
darling say ask myself...
darling say i really a weird girl...
i agree... really weird...
the fear is come out naturally ...i thought i can overcome that fear...
But the result come out is cannot...
He is a good person, everyone know, me also know...
why i will feel afraid when facing him??
Keep asking myself this question...
Really dunno, head very pain now....hahahaha....
Now already really dun understand myself ....

That event already pass long long long time....
First sem or second sem ? Already dunno which sem ...
But the most important thing is I already know that time he was just kidding only...
But.... as i know is still got a bit influence.... a bit... just a bit....
Sometime really will feel zero confident when facing him...
But when facing with other person will also feel no confident...
hahaha.....
Even sometime will feel a bit scare when facing with he, maybe is scare him will say that kind of word to me again...
But as i know that is earlier reason...
Now i think he won say like that to me ler ba...
Then now what i am afraid about??
Haiz....

Already write so many thing, no answer come out....
My question can not find out the solution...Haiz....
Dun want think anymore...
just let it be...keep asking me also dun have answer...
Now want study FOA !!!!
Just left one paper only...

Exam......medicine....again....

Haiz.....
regret eat mcd ..
Yesterday, after eat mcd, already feel pain from the throat....
Exam...ing...What can i do?
haiz~~ Medicine again...

today having a bad luck...
no voice, no lift, no parking , no water...
Actually, today just need accompany my mom go pasar only....
unfortunately, lift rosak ...
my mom call me go by myself....
After go pasar, no parking....
need walk a long way ....Haiz~~ tired...
Finish bought things, then go clinic see doctor...
Last time brought my brother, this time is my turn go see doctor...
Back home...no lift... need walk stairs...13 floor...Haiz...
Back home...no water...whole building also no water...Haiz..

He already remind me must take care, drink more water...
Because now exam...but...
i am sick again...fever again....38 degree again....
Throat feel pain...now already no voice come out...
regret...ing...if i no eat mcd....
every time also like that, after did something, will feel regret...
really stupid ah....
really can realise i am no brain one...=(
Before that, actually already know throat got a bit pain, still decide want eat mcd...

Yesterday, got try something new at time square with darling, shenny, fuiling,sin yin, wan ting, mei yin and amanda...
We having a full makeup...
They say need to complete a folio, so need a model to make up...
After finish make up, everyone look very different...
Everyone look mature and pretty ...
Erm~ except me...
Erm~ i think my eye got bigger a bit lar ...
haha~~

First time having a full make up...
Erm~~ first time got many type of cosmetic put on my face...
Erm~~ really unlike and uncomfortable...
Especially the eye...
She put so many thing on my eye...
Lol~~ next time dun dare to try anymore...

After finish make up, need take picture...
Erm~~ need posing too...Haiz...
I really dunno posing ...sad...=(
Finally she teach me how to pose when facing the camera...
Posing like a model...

Erm~~ what i know is make up need many time...
Removed make up also need many time...
I think she really a patient person...
Because she already stand many hour to do the make up and removed the make up...
Erm~~ what i know is after removed make up, eye feel more comfortable...
Feel like got release something...
Before removed, eye feel like very heavy...

After that, we go try cloth...Hehe~~
Erm~~ really like that two cloth...But the price...
Haha...i am dun have money lar...
But got take picture, now is fui ling teach me how to posing ler...
Erm...messy the hair and dun smile...
Haha...me change bad already...

Sometime will feel really confused...
Izzit want to be strong is equal to became bad...Dunno...
Now i can't feel i already became stronger...
What i can feel is i became bad girl already...
Recently, my brother really rich...
Last sunday, buy new psp..
cost Rm830...use his own money...Haiz...
Me? nothing buy...
no money...no money...
Now dun want think so much things...
Dun want think laptop...
mp4...
handphone...
bag...
shoes...
and...
haha...

Now just want faster recover...
Hope the coming exam paper not so difficult...
I dun want resit anymore...Please!!!
Gambateh anyone...^^
A za snowfish too...

need a happy snow fish life

Just now click wrongly on shenny status~ now feel regrade~~ sorry~
Because at that moment i think what shenny say is correct de.......
Start a happy life~ Forgot all about that person.....everything....
sorry darling, for making you worry...........
Because me suddenly offline......
at that moment really not ok......
dunno how to reply you all...
really dunno....
then i just offline, go to sleep....

At the bed,dunno why? i am very not ok!! cry...ing...again...again....
me already say my heart very weak !!!!
why tell me all this??
at that time really cannot accept...
haiz.....
see wrong people le....

This make me think back all the bad memory....
especially when you all say outlooking person....
all the bad memory come back in my brain....
paksa me face all the reality....
that memory is my nightmare....
make me cannot sleep well whole night....
what can i do?
nothing.....do nothing.....cannot change anything....
that bad memory keep remind me ....
can someone tell me, izzit appearance very important??
ya, maybe....
all boy like see pretty girl, all girl like to see handsome boy....
this is reality....haha

darling call me forgot....
i agree....forgot...
no need think too much...
he really not good....
actually, he no do something that make me still need remember him....

Haiz....
but something is cannot forgot ....
i still remember that person name who make this nightmare to me...
i already use 5 years to forgot that bad memory....
but now still remain inside my heart...my brain....
cannot forget....
eye fill with many water....
pain come out from heart.....
Lol.....
become crazy le....

darling ask why me now still scare your brother....
i dunno....
really dunno....
maybe he is the person that make me think back that bad memory....
so now very scare him....haha
i know sometime he was just kidding with me....
but dunno why ? also feel afraid ....

really wan thanks momo....
just realise the reality... what type of that person...
now really can forgot that person le....
From now really need start to become stronger ....
dun wan hurt by anyone... anymore...
wan to become a happy snow fish....

keep telling myself, start a new happy life....
with my lovely family , and my friend....

对的时间 ，对的人

常听到别人说"对的时间遇到对的人"。时间真的那么重吗?

哈哈。。我觉得应该是吧。
电影<穿越时空的情书> 所描述的就是时间和命运之间巧妙的际遇，对的人 ，错得时间不行；
错得人 ，对的时间也不行，对的人，对的时间，要看你够不够幸运了
哈哈! 好复杂哦! 那何谓对错呢? 好像只有自己能下定论 。。。

而且有时候‘对的’也有可能因为时间的变化而成为‘错得’，至于时间就更无法控制了，
哈哈，那么要怎么征服时间这难题呢? 我想 答案是:耐心

电影中的男女主角没有其他的方法，只有耐心得等待，等时间的过去，等那个人的出现，
或许有那么的一天。。。。

哈哈， 如果你幸运的话等待将换的对的人出现在对的时间。。。
Really hope i am that lucky person.....


最近看过一篇文章，
故事是关于一个男生 和一个女生。。
女生习惯保持距离，因为她相信只要不去拥有，就不用承受失去的后果和痛苦。。。
男生试图去追求这个他不承想像会遇见或是会爱上的女生。
最后那个女生还是没有接受他。。。
那个男生心碎，不过在很久以后他重新找到份模的到，看得见，属于他的幸福了。。。
女生如解重负，却不懂自己为什么会有失落感。。。
怎么可能她会痛?
竟然会因为失去了一样自己不曾拥有的东西而感到痛苦?

看完了这个故事，觉得蛮有意识得。。。
同时也觉得有点失落。。。
不懂为什么会这样。。。
哈哈，我在想或许那个女生是因为害怕失去，害怕受伤吧。。。
可是她已经失去和受伤了。。。

tired.....really very tired

很累真的很累, 很讨厌现在的自己......
为什么会这样,为什么偏偏是这个时後......
他不ａｃｃｅｐｔ，会难过, 泪也掉过了, 我能做什么, 我想还是 算了吧.....
这也不重要了, 可是为什么老天爷要这样对我呢?

我不要生病, 我不要发烧....
真的很累真的很辛苦.....从来都没有这么辛苦过...
没有使过发烧发到39度....还是要吃了药才退烧的那个.....我快疯掉.....
终于考了ｍａｒｃｏ，还没出门前量了一下温度, 38.4度.....我该怎么办?
算了....死就死吧...进到考场头脑一片空白....
只觉得自己很想睡觉, 很累, 头很重......
算了, 就写吧了.....想到什么就写什么.....第一次这样, 考完了很想哭.....
如果可以再给我多一点时间就好了, 只少现在不用那么后悔......

我不想吃药, 吃了药就会想睡.....就因为这样我变的没有时间读书.....很讨厌这样的自己....
已经吃了两天的面包, 喝肋两天的牛奶......
很讨厌喝牛奶, 很讨厌那种味道...
可是没有办法, 妈说一定要喝 ,所以也勉强喝了下去....
可是每一次都会去厕所把他呕完出来....因为实在太难喝了!!!!!!!

觉得自己最近很倒霉......不想这样, 很想快点好起来.....
可是病毒赢了我.... 烧退了又起, 起了又退.....
真的不想这样.....
谁可以帮我?
我想只有自己帮自己吧.......

现在对着电脑,觉得眼睛很累......觉的眼前的画面变的很模糊.....
很讨厌啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
觉得头脑快要爆炸了.....
ｄｅａｒ说写ｂｌｏｇ可以让心情好过一点....
我觉得是的....
我很不甘心啊!!!!!!!!!为什么要这样对我?????????????????
很不喜欢这种感觉啊!!!!!!!!!!!

算了, 再写结果还是一样......
他还是不会ａｃｃｅｐｔ．．． 我也还在生病.......
想开一点吧.....
加油......只能这样对自己说....

Finally find him^^

终于找到他了，哈哈。。
不懂为什么，看到他那种感觉有回来了。。
现在的心情是开心的，很久没有这种感觉了。。
希望这种感觉一直都在。。。

很久没有写ｂｌｏｇ了，
因为他，有又回那种心情写了。。
考试让我喘不过气来，
很担心也很害怕。。
因为发现自己没有很努力的读书。。
真的很后悔。。
如果时间能够从来一次就好了。。
我会珍惜和他相处的时间，我也会努力读书。。
哈哈。。。
发现自己最近变的很坏，
朋友都说我变坏了。。

不过同时也发现自己原来是不太信任别人的，
不过这也不重要了，因为最后我还是相信他说的话。。
哈哈。。
还记得他说我的生活很平淡，
其实我也觉的是。。
好无聊哦。。
不过我多了一个节目，
那就是和他ｓｍｓ谈天。。
谢谢他和我这无聊又笨的人谈天。。
哈哈。。
好了，无聊又笨蛋的人要去读书了，
我的朋友们加油吧！！！